Good Friday

Am I a stone, and not a sheep,

That I can stand, O Christ, beneath Thy cross,

To number drop by drop Thy blood’s slow loss,

And yet not weep?

Not so those women loved

Who with exceeding grief lamented Thee;

Not so fallen Peter weeping bitterly;

Not so the thief was moved;

Not so the Sun and Moon

Which hid their faces in a starless sky,

A horror of great darkness at broad noon–

I, only I.

Yet give not o’er,

But seek Thy sheep, true Shepherd of the flock;

Greater than Moses, turn and look once more

And smite a rock.

-Christina Rossetti

pilgrims’ hymn

Pilgrims’ Hymn by Stephen Paulus

Even before we call on Your name

To ask You, O God,
When we seek for the words to glorify You,
You hear our prayer;
Unceasing love, O unceasing love,
Surpassing all we know.

Glory to the father,
and to the Son,
And to the Holy Spirit.

Even with darkness sealing us in,
We breathe Your name,
And through all the days that follow so fast,
We trust in You;
Endless Your grace, O endless Your grace,
Beyond all mortal dream.

Both now and forever,
And unto ages and ages,
Amen

Click here to listen to “Pilgrims’ Hymn”

(performed by the Dale Warland Singers)

o nata lux

“O Nata Lux”, from Morten Lauridsen’s “Lux Aeterna”

O nata lux de lumine,
jesu redemptor saeculi,
dignare clemens supplicum
Laudes preces que sumere.
Qui carne quondam contegi
dignatus es pro perditis.
Nos membra confer effici,
tui beati corporis.

O born light of light,
Jesus, redeemer of the owrld,
mercifully deem worthy and accept
the praises and prayers of your supplicants.
thou who once deigned to be clothed in flesh
for the sake of the lost ones.
grant us to be made members
of your holy body.

Click the link below to listen:

\”O Nata Lux\”, Mvt. III of \”Lux Aeterna\” by Morten Lauridsen

I ♥ Van Gogh

Lately, I’ve had this Van Gogh fascination.  I mean, I know the guy was crazy, but so were/are many great artists.  I think, in some ways, his own madness contributed to his beautiful works of art.  Here are a few (Note: To view larger images, simply click on each image).

View of Arles with Irises (May, 1888)

Starry Night Over the Rhone (September, 1888)

Blossoming Almond Tree (February, 1890)

The Cafe Terrace on the Place du Forum (September, 1888)

trusting, even when it’s hard

Trusting in God can be so difficult. Last Spring, I decided to come back to Wheaton to be a music major, yet again. This after I had convinced myself that psychology was the route for me. Sometimes, it takes things like mono and depression for God to redirect one’s course.  Looking back, I am grateful for both. God used hardship in my life to slow me down and cause me to reflect.

This past semester has been difficult, and I have doubted my abilities so many times.  But through it all, God has been faithful.  He’s always provided when I need to be provided for, always affirmed when I need affirming, and helped move me along when I need a nudge.

I still have leaps and bounds to grow in the area of trusting in God.  I still, all too often, think that my own plans are better than His.  I still often fall flat on my face.  However, it is during those particular times that He is right there, ready to pick me up.

Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.

-Psalm 37:3-6 ESV

peace peace by sara groves

Peace Peace it’s hard to find
trouble comes like wrecking ball
to you peace of mind
and all that worry you can’t leave behind

all your hopes and fears
all your hopes and fears
all your hopes and fears
are met in Him tonight

peace peace
it’s hard to find
doubt comes like a tiny voice that’s
so unkind
and all your fears they conspire
to unwind you

all your hopes and fears
all your hopes and fears
all your hopes and fears
are met in Him

And in your dark street shines
and everlasting light
and all your hopes and fears
are met in Him tonight

all your hopes and fears
all your hopes and fears
all your hopes and fears
are met in Him tonight

peace peace
peace peace
peace peace

Click here to play the song

prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make us instruments of your peace.  Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.  Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.  For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.  Amen.

Has it really been 8 years?

It seems like yesterday…I was sitting in my 7th grade Life Science class, watching the 2nd twin tower fall live on CNN, and then proceeded to watch a plane crash into the Pentagon.  That same day, I was pulled out of school early.  No one knew what was happening.  People were panicked and scared.  I remember very clearly trying to call my grandparents in Long Island, NY…but the phone lines were so tied up that nothing was getting through.  9/11/01 shaped me.  It was really the first time the reality of terror and death hit me.

If you ask just about anyone, they will be able to tell you where they were on September 11, 2001.  For a few moments, time stands still in these kinds of moments.  Looking back, it seems like yesterday–but 8 years have gone by now.  I’ve gone from a 13 year old middle schooler to a 21 year old college student.

So…I’m curious.  Can you remember where you were on September 11, 2001?  How did the event shape you?

Spiritus Sanctus

This is a prayer from “Valley of Vision”, a beautiful collection of Puritan prayers.

I hope you are blessed.

SPIRITUS SANCTUS

O Holy Spirit,

As the sun is full of light, the ocean full of water,

Heaven full of glory, so may my heart be full of thee.

Vain are all divine purposes of love

and the redemption wrought by Jesus

except thou work within,

regenerating by thy power,

giving me eyes to see Jesus,

showing me the realities of the unseen world.

Give me thyself without measure,

as an unimpaired fountain,

as inexhaustible riches.

I bewail my coldness, poverty, emptiness,

imperfect vision, languid service,

prayerless prayers, praiseless praises.

Suffer me not to grieve or resist thee.

Come as power,

to expel every rebel lust, to reign supreme and keep me thine;

Come as teacher,

leading me into all truth, filling me with all understanding;

Come as love,

that I may adore the Father, and love him as my all;

Come as joy,

to dwell in me, move in me, animate me;

Come as light,

illuminating the Scripture, moulding me in its laws;

Come as sanctifier,

body, soul and spirit wholly thine;

Come as helper,

with strength to bless and keep, directing my every step;

Come as beautifier,

bringing order out of confusion, loveliness out of chaos.

Magnify to me thy glory by being magnified in me,

and make me redolent of thy fragrance.

identity crisis

Being a college student places one in an interesting place in life.  This comes from personal experience.  I have changed my major about 3 times now, and have thought about pursuing countless careers.  I have moved in and out of dorms, back home, and back to school.  My identity has been stripped naked and shaken to its core.  I have questioned my faith, my beliefs, and my integrity as a person.

But there is beauty to this stage of life.  A unique and sometimes messy beauty, but nonetheless–it is there.  College is that time of life when one is expected to suddenly grow up.  Childhood left behind, adulthood hits one like a glass wall coming out of nowhere.  As I am beginning to fit into this new mold, I am becoming more and more comfortable with it.  Freedom, when lived properly, is a beautiful thing.

College is a unique and beautiful time of life.  I can dream of what and who I want to be.  I can explore and discover.  I can be creative.  Most importantly, I am becoming more and more of the man God has created me to be.  There is true satisfaction and beauty in that alone.